From the Diary of Foghorn Leghorn

This is a fanfiction written by The Warrior Brothers.

I.
7/6/1500 (Human Date)

3/12/3000 (Chickonry Date)

I say, that is, hi there! Huh? Well, that don’t really matter anyhow! So, I say, I’m a-writin’ here today to tell ya about somethin’—the strangest thing happened yesterday! These chickens who called themselves “Vikings” and had huge beards and giant axes and swords invaded our land and raided the capital, Chickonry City!

I say, so, those guys took a bunch of our gold! Can you believe that? I mean, why would they want gold? It’s just ridic- I say ridiculous. Oh, wait, hang on, Foghorn Loyalhorn is sayin’ gold is valuable! Huh, who knew?

Any- I say anyhow, there’s a little somethin’ I’ve a-been wan’in’ to tell ya: we’re at I say we’re at war. We’re a-fightin’ this huge war with the Hornerians. Tomorrow, ya see, we gotta attack the Hornerian capital—Horner- I say, Hornerian City.

I say, trouble is that we lost, I say we lost half our equipment in that Chicken Viking raid. So, I say, so, we gotta attack the Hornerians anyway—without our munitions. Now that, I say that, is what I call a problem.

II.
7/8/1500 (Human Date)

3/16/3000 (Chickonry Date)

Hmm, I say hmm, this might not go so well. So, I say, ya see we’re gonna attack the Hornerian fortress; it’s called De la fortressa la-dee-da Hornerianés. Or is it just called The Hornerian fortress? Huh, I can’t remember.

* * *

Well, I say, when we got there, a Hornerian stuck a sign out the window that said this:

THE HORNERIAN FORTRESS

Well, I say, that answers that question. So, I say, when 200,000 Hornerian soldiers stuck guns and swords out holes in the fortress walls, we knew that we couldn’t just storm the fortress, I say fortress.

But we decided to try anyway.

8,000 Chickonry died in that first attack. That, I say that was when I thought to myself, Huh, I say, maybe that wasn’t a great idea.

So, I say, so, we decided to fake a letter from Foghorn Wrestlinghorn, the King of the Hornerians, telling the Hornerians to evacuate the fortress due to a tsunami. It came out like this:

I say, subjects of the King of the—uh, I mean, me. That is, Foghorn Wrestlinghorn. I say, I’m totally Foghorn Wrestlinghorn writing this letter. For sure. 100% sure.

Anyway, I say anyway, there’s a tsunami approachin’ near the fortress, and, I say, I need you to evacuate. I say, uh, yeah. So, that’s that. I say, why’re ya still reading this?! Get the heck outta there!!!

—Foghorn Wrestlinghorn, who’s totally the King of the Hornerians

So, I say so, I think that came out pretty good. We’ll see how it turned out in a couple days.

III.
7/10/1500 (Human Date)

3/20/3000 (Chickonry Date)

Well, I say well, it wasn’t my fault that the Hornerians stormed our camp and didn’t believe a word in that letter!

I say, ya see, Foghorn Dumbhorn was a-workin’ on it with me, and he got it all wrong! Messed it up, that is. Here’s a little diagram I made in my spare time to show ya what happened:

I wrote this: ''I say, subjects of the King of the—uh, I mean, me. That is, Foghorn Wrestlinghorn. I say, I’m totally Foghorn Wrestlinghorn writing this letter. For sure. 100% sure.''

Dumbhorn wrote this: Anyway, I say anyway, there’s a tsunami approachin’ near the fortress, and, I say, I need you to evacuate.

''I wrote this: I say, uh, yeah. So, that’s that. I say, why’re ya still reading this?! Get the heck outta there!!!''

—Foghorn Wrestlinghorn, who’s totally the King of the Hornerians

So, I say so, as you can see, this whole “storming the capital” thing where 78,000 Chickonry died was totally Dumbhorn’s fault.

IV.
8/1/1500 (Human Date

2/15/3000 (Chickonry Date)

COMING SOON